Linda Cousine writes romantic comedy and tells people she holds a master’s degree in menopause and a B.S. in BS. When she isn’t standing in front of the freezer or taking ice baths, she can be found at her computer writing something with the word “Hot.” Learn more about Linda and her books at her website.
September is National Menopause Awareness Month
First, I’d like to thank the lovely editor Anastasia Pollack for having me today. Truthfully, I would rather have been giving this interview to the other Anna—Anna Wintour—the editor of Vogue, but I’m persona non grata ever since I wrote that article titled “Finger-Licking Good” promoting a new line of potted and flavored lip gloss. Apparently, Ms. Wintour found my article too sexually suggestive for her readers. But any excuse to talk about myself is a good one, so let me formally introduce myself …
I’m Lexi Taylor, former international supermodel-turned-shoe-mogul (it was design shoes, or housewares—the washed-up-model hell where all aging models go to die.) I’m a not-so-fabulous fifty whatever, and my friend-slash-frenemy—depending on the day—Linda Cousine, writes satirical books about me struggling to keep my life, my looks, and my libido on track in the face of impending menopause. Linda likes to say the books are loosely based on her life, but come on, Linda; you were on, what, one measly billboard in L.A.? I was on the cover of every major fashion magazine for over thirty years. And you know what they say … Those who can, do … and those who can’t, write about it.
Linda has dubbed her/my books the Middle-Aged Hottie series. In Hotter than Ever, the first book in the series, I wind up in a menopausal nuthouse after a family intervention convinces me I need some professional help. (I swear it was a total accident that I pinned my husband to the door of the garage with my car and broke his leg. My stiletto was stuck under the accelerator. It was sheer coincidence he had just asked for a divorce and was holding his suitcase in his hand.)
In Too Hot to Hold, Richard and I try to patch things up, but it’s rough going when he moves back in and brings his buddies from his newfound career—pro-wrestling—with him. (I know, right? Pro wrestling? Don’t even get me started.) You don’t know what chaos is until your home is invaded by a gentle giant, a cannonballing midget, and a monkey with a police record. If my hormones weren’t finally on track with the help of all those doctors at Sunnyvale Sanitarium: Home for the Mostly Menopausal, I just may have lost it—again.
And so, in recognition of National Menopause Awareness Month, let me share some menopause facts as presented by www.menopauseawarenessmonth.org
- By the year 2030, roughly 1.2 billion women will be suffering from menopause.
- The average woman will hit menopause around the age of 50.
- Smoking increases your odds of early menopause.
- 80% of menopausal women suffer from hot flashes.
- Caffeine and alcohol can increase the severity of hot flashes.
- 40% of all women suffer from mood swings caused by hormonal dips.
- Prior to menopause, women are three times less likely to have a heart attack than men. After menopause, the odds are equal.
Now for the good news!
A Gallup survey done in 1998 reported that 51 percent of American women between the ages of 50 and 65 who have reached menopause said they are more fulfilled and happier than ever. Many treatments are now available to women to help with menopausal symptoms. Both Linda and I are proponents of HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and use bioidentical hormones. As all women have different health issues, check with your doctor to see if HRT is right for you.
Menopause is not a disease or a disorder; it’s unavoidable and is perfectly natural. (But so is death, and I’m not ready to give into that yet, either.)
Thank you for letting me share, and remember, ladies … We’re not getting older; we’re getting hotter!
Too Hot to Hold
Lexi Taylor is no stranger to midlife crisis. After all, a menopausal meltdown landed her at the Sunnyvale Sanitarium Home for the Mostly Menopausal for a ninety-day stay. Since finding her sanity there, this former supermodel’s faculties are back on track. She puts family first, and is on the road to patching things up with her ex-husband, Richard, who seems intent on turning up the heat between them.
But when Richard moves back in, he brings his buddies from his pro wrestling career with him—a gentle giant, a cannonballing midget, and a monkey with a police record. Lexi’s Bel Air home has become a regular three-ring-circus. Add a new ex-husband with erratic mood swings, and a questionable vitamin therapy, and Lexi wonders if she’s making the right choice. After a spa weekend with her daughter that turns out to be a visit to a nudist commune, a modeling gig that’s actually an ad for adult diapers, and extortion for a sex video she didn’t know existed, Lexi feels close to losing it—again. But this time, hormones are the least of her worries as Lexi must find a way to keep her family together and save her ex-husband from jeopardizing his health. She faces one of the biggest challenges of her menopausal life: does her past have a place in her future? Or is it time to move on?