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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

GUEST AUTHOR DIANE BURTON ON MEDDLING MAMAS

photo by Pauk
Diane Burton combines her love of mystery, adventure, science fiction, and romance into writing romantic science fiction, romantic suspense, and a PI mystery series. She has also contributed to two anthologies. Learn more about Diane and her books at her website and blog. 

A Meddling Mama

When I was invited to guest blog today, it was suggested I write about dealing with a meddling mother. The reason is the title of my latest PI mystery, The Case of the Meddling Mama. I was so blessed to have a mother whose own mother meddled and promised herself she never would. A few times she did meddle in my siblings’ lives/marriages, but not in mine. Not that I’m perfect (LOL), but their situations needed some meddling.

My mother-in-law lived with a meddler—her MIL—for twenty-five years. She was so grateful her son finally got married and gave her grandchildren, she wasn’t about to rock the boat. I’m sure she vented to her sister, just not to me. Thank goodness.

Consequently, I never had to deal with a meddler. My grandmother, who lived 500 miles away and didn’t often visit, tried to tell my mother how to raise her children, gave unwanted advice, and various suggestions on how my dad should do this and that. Mom didn’t often argue, but when she did, you didn’t want to be around. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, shut up and put up with her mother-in-law. It’s a wonder she didn’t get an ulcer.

Having such great examples, I’ve tried to be a non-meddler to my own children. That hasn’t stopped me from sometimes talking to Hubs, a patient listener, about my adult children. When my daughter had her first child (a girl), I was determined not to tell her how to raise her kids. They were hers and her husband’s, not mine. Same when my son had his daughter. (Girls first run in my family; I’m the oldest of seven). While I sometimes disagree with the mothers, I follow my MIL and keep my mouth shut. (If the kids were being harmed, I would step in.) If you ask my daughter, she’ll probably say I did enough meddling when she and her brother were in high school and college.

My daughter and I have a great relationship now. What is it about mothers and daughters that cause friction? Especially when the daughter is going through adolescence and the mother is in peri-menopause. Merida and her mother (from the movie Brave) had nothing on us. At least, my daughter didn’t turn me into a bear.

Like his father, my son took his own sweet time getting married. Again, I say I’m blessed with a lovely daughter-in-law—one who insisted that when we visited (for a month at a time) that we stay with them! Three separate times. At the end of this month, son, DIL, a two-year-old, and two big dogs will live with us as they move from Arizona to Michigan and find a house. Maybe, I’ll turn into a meddler.

I hope not.

The Case of the Meddling Mama
Book 3 of the Alex O’Hara Mystery series


8 comments:

Diane Burton said...

Thank you so much for having me here. As I mentioned on my blog last week, I love Anastasia's stories.

ANASTASIA POLLACK said...

Happy to have you, Diane!

Darcy Flynn said...

Loved your post, Diane. Neither my mom or my MIL meddled. I'm thankful for both of these lovely ladies and the example they gave me. I'm a mom of one son and he's not married yet. I hope to be a blessing and not a meddler when that day comes. :)

Pamela S Thibodeaux said...

Great Post!

I try not to meddle too much in my daughter's life/marriage...only advise when she calls venting LOL!

Good luck and God's blessings
Pamt

Alicia Dean said...

Fun blog! None of my three children have spouses or children, so I have not had the opportunity to see if I would meddle in their family life. I don't think I'm a meddler and my mother was not a meddler, so perhaps my kids will get lucky. :) You've very lucky to have the family dynamic you have. LOVE this story, your 'meddling mama' is above and beyond in this book, LOL. Best wishes!

Diane Burton said...

Darcy, you are so lucky. You'll be a great MIL.

Pam, it's so hard to just listen when our daughters vent. Usually, they don't want advice. How wonderful that you're there for her.

Alicia, I think you'll be like your mother. She gave you a good example. Thanks so much for what you said about Meddling Mama. I really enjoyed writing that book.

Maureen said...

That bear looks like one 'mama' I don't want to mess with. Great post!

Diane Burton said...

Thanks, Maureen. I wouldn't mess with her, either.