Family Matters
The mysteries I enjoy most tell me something about human experience in addition to solving a crime. This is also the type of mystery I try to write. In my latest mystery, Wolf Bog, the third book in my Berkshire Hilltown Mystery series, I explore the subject of family relationships in the context of two popular debates. One is the blood versus water debate; the other, the nature versus nurture debate.
The discussion about whether or not family ties are stronger than those of our friends takes place between my main character, Kathryn Stinson, and her romantic partner, Earl Barker. He argues in favor of blood, while Kathryn is inclined toward water. Each has reasons for their positions. Because he comes from a close-knit family that has lived in a Berkshire town since its founding in the 1700s, Earl believes that family ties are stronger.
Kathryn, on the other hand, is the only child in a dysfunctional family in California, where her parents were divorced, and she was raised by her mean-spirited grandmother, because her mother was too depressed to care for her. Her strongest family tie was with her great aunt, whom she visited in Hawaii and whom she adored. But her great aunt’s death and her continued estrangement from her mother leave her with no strong biological family connections. She does, however, bond with the members of Earl’s family, and develops close friendships with others in the Berkshires. She considers one of these friends, an older woman named Charlotte Hinckley, to be a surrogate or substitute mother. She’s happy with her current situation, and feels no need to reach out to her biological mother, though prodded to do so by Earl. At one point in the story, she muses, “We choose our friends, but not the families we’re born into, so why should our ties to them be stronger than those to our friends?”
In one way at least, my experience mirrors Kathryn’s. I didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family and managed to remain on more or less good terms with my parents (while they were alive) and older sister. But living on the other side of the country from my actual family meant that I often turned to friends for a surrogate family. They became the people with whom I shared joys and sorrows in relationships free of the baggage that can sometimes mar biological family relations.
The nature versus nurture debate arises when Charlotte Hinckley, the character mentioned above, is reunited with a daughter she gave up for adoption more than forty years ago. The daughter happens to be a very different sort of person than her mother. This leads Charlotte to wonder how much of her daughter’s personality was in her genes, and how much was shaped by the family she grew up in. There are no easy answers to these questions as I, an adoptive mother myself, know well. Because our son was adopted at birth, it’s pretty clear to me what my husband and I gave to him as parents, but with very limited knowledge of his birth parents, it’s difficult to say what traits came from them. Still, I think it’s important to have these discussions, as Charlotte does with Kathryn in the novel.
Readers, where do you stand on the blood versus water and the nature versus nurture questions?
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A Berkshire Hilltown Mystery, Book 3
In the drought-ridden Berkshires a group of hikers that includes Kathryn Stinson discover the perfectly preserved body of a local teenager, missing for forty years, at Wolf Bog. Who was he and what happened between him and Kathryn’s close friend, Charlotte Hinckley, to make her distraught and blame herself for his death? Searching for answers, Kathryn learns of the fabulous parties held at a mansion up the hill from her, where local teenagers like the deceased mingled with the offspring of the wealthy. Other questions dog the arrival of a woman claiming to be the daughter Charlotte gave up for adoption. But is she really Charlotte’s daughter, and if not, what’s her game? Once again, Kathryn’s quest for the truth puts her in grave danger.
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Your post explores some serious issues about family and friends. Lots to think about here. I enjoyed Wolf Big when I read it, and will have to take another look at it with these questions in mind. Good post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Susan. Glad you enjoyed the post and the book itself when you read in draft. I didn't realize how important the issues re family and friends were to me, until my characters started discussing them. Which reminds me of something Joan Didion said, "I write to find out what I'm thinking about."
ReplyDeleteBoth those conflicts or dilemmas or whatever you want to call them hit home with me because I am the mother of four adopted children, and we could not be closer as a family. I know and feel sorry for childless people who won't adopt a child that doesn't have their blood. Such narrow, closed thinking. And my four are all so different--and yet they are so much the same. If they weren't they wouldn't remain close (all but the youngest are in their fifties). So I think I come in a bit more heavily on the nurture side.
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing this up and making me think once again how lucky I am.
I’ve always believed that friends are the family you choose for yourself. I have no blood siblings, but am blessed with many friends who are siblings of the heart.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Judy, for adopting four children! Like you, I know people who won't adopt a child that doesn't have their blood, but I consider adopting my son one of the best things I've ever done. And as the adoptive mother of four you are quadruple blessed! Thanks for sharing your experience.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Anonymous, aka Susan S. I love what you say about having "siblings of the heart." I wrote a historical novel about three women friends in the 19th century--never published--with the title "Sisters of the Heart," which is how women of that era referred to their female friends. It's good to know that the expression is still being used.
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