Author of all trades,
Matt Ferraz has written thrillers, sci-fi, cozy mysteries and a lot of witty
e-mails that sadly can't be published. With a degree in journalism and a
master’s degree in biography, Matt has works published in English, Italian and
Portuguese, and loves trying out new genres. Learn more about Matt and his books at
his website. You can also sign up for his new mailing list here.
Today Matt offers us something a bit
different—a short story to introduce us to his senior sleuth Grandma Bertha.
Innocent Man's
Cake - A Grandma Bertha Short Story
Lydia Hepburn wasn't a morning person by any means, and it
took a lot to make her get out of bed early on a Saturday. Stu wasn't a toddler
anymore, and knew how to use the toilet on his own, which meant she rarely had
a reason to get up before dawn. Plus, her husband Todd was an early bird, and
would take care of any issue that required adult presence.
She was especially tired that Saturday, after spending the
previous night in front of the TV waiting for the final sentence in the Jack
Pyle trial. For months, the whole country had been divided whether that man had
actually killed his wife. Now that he was in jail, it was like a long soap
opera was over and they could rest.
All Lydia wanted was some more sleep, but the noise in the
kitchen was unbearable. Only one person could annoy Lydia so much, and that was
Grandma Bertha. What was she doing in the kitchen anyway? It wasn't like her to
be cooking at that time of day.
Lydia jumped from the bed, put on her robe and walked
downstairs, ready to kick Grandma Bertha back to her shed in the backyard. She
stopped by the door and looked at the mess. There was flour everywhere, eggshells
on the floor and chantilly on the drapes. Grandma Bertha offered a toothless
smile to her daughter-in-law.
“Good
morning, Lyd!” she said. “Up so early?”
Lydia tried to stay calm. “What are you doing?”
“I'm
baking a cake!” said Grandma Bertha. “For a friend.”
“A
friend? Who?”
“Did you
seen the news yesterday?” said Grandma Bertha. “About that poor Jack Pyle? He
was innocent, and I'm sending him a cake in jail.”
Lydia pulled out a chair. That was too much even for Grandma
Bertha's standards. “You're baking a cake for…”
“Careful,
Lyd!” warned Grandma Bertha. “Don't sit there!”
“What?
Why not?” Her eyes went down to the seat, and there was a small hacksaw on it.
“What is this doing here?”
Grandma Bertha picked the hacksaw from the chair. “There,
there, you can sit. This is going into the cake.”
Lydia didn't sit down. “You're baking a cake with a saw in
it?”
“No,
that would be silly!” Grandma Bertha said, with a giggle. “I'm baking the cake
and then I'm putting the saw inside it. Otherwise it would taste
terrible!”
“Why
would you do that?”
Grandma Bertha went serious for a second. “It pains me to
see an innocent man in jail. I'll send him this cake so he can get out of jail
and clear his name.”
Lydia rubbed her eyes. “In what world do you live? Are you
aware that…”
Her phrase was interrupted by the voice of her husband, who
just came in from the street. “Darling! Have you heard the news?”
Lydia turned to him, her face red with anger. “Do you know
what your mother's been doing?”
“Just
a minute, darling!” said Todd. “I just heard the morning news on the radio. They
came out with undisputed evidence that Jack Pyle is innocent! They're releasing
him today!”
Lydia stood there, not knowing what to say. She was still
mad, but couldn't tell at whom. So she turned her head around and saw that
Grandma Bertha's smile was even larger.
“Well,”
said Grandma Bertha. “Who wants a piece of cake, then?”
The
Convenient Cadaver
Grandma Bertha Solving Murders, Book 1
When Grandma Bertha moved to her son’s place, she brought along three
dogs, several cases of beer and many, many horror film DVDs. While her
daughter-in-law insists on the idea of sending Grandma Bertha to a retirement
home, a dead girl appears near the house, shot three times in the back. Many
years ago, Grandma Bertha let a murderer escape for not trusting in her own
detective abilities. Now, armed with her wit and wisdom, she decides to solve
that crime before the police. Could this crazy dog lady be a threat to a
cold-blooded killer? And for how long can the family stand that situation?
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