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| photo by Pauk |
Diane Burton combines her love of mystery, adventure,
science fiction, and romance into writing romantic science fiction, romantic
suspense, and a PI mystery series. She has also contributed to two anthologies.
Learn more about Diane and her books at her website and blog.
A Meddling Mama
When I was invited to guest
blog today, it was suggested I write about dealing with a meddling mother. The
reason is the title of my latest PI mystery, The Case of the Meddling Mama. I was so blessed to have a mother
whose own mother meddled and promised herself she never would. A few times she
did meddle in my siblings’ lives/marriages, but not in mine. Not that I’m
perfect (LOL), but their situations needed some meddling.
My mother-in-law lived with
a meddler—her MIL—for twenty-five years. She was so grateful her son finally
got married and gave her grandchildren, she wasn’t about to rock the boat. I’m
sure she vented to her sister, just not to me. Thank goodness.
Consequently, I never had to
deal with a meddler. My grandmother, who lived 500 miles away and didn’t often
visit, tried to tell my mother how to raise her children, gave unwanted advice,
and various suggestions on how my dad should do this and that. Mom didn’t often
argue, but when she did, you didn’t want to be around. My mother-in-law, on the
other hand, shut up and put up with her mother-in-law. It’s a wonder she didn’t
get an ulcer.
Having such great examples,
I’ve tried to be a non-meddler to my own children. That hasn’t stopped me from
sometimes talking to Hubs, a patient listener, about my adult children. When my
daughter had her first child (a girl), I was determined not to tell her how to
raise her kids. They were hers and her husband’s, not mine. Same when my son
had his daughter. (Girls first run in my family; I’m the oldest of seven).
While I sometimes disagree with the mothers, I follow my MIL and keep my mouth
shut. (If the kids were being harmed, I would step in.) If you ask my daughter,
she’ll probably say I did enough meddling when she and her brother were in high
school and college.
My daughter and I have a
great relationship now. What is it about mothers and daughters that cause
friction? Especially when the daughter is going through adolescence and the
mother is in peri-menopause. Merida and her mother (from the movie Brave) had nothing on us. At least,
my daughter didn’t turn me into a bear.
Like his father, my son took
his own sweet time getting married. Again, I say I’m blessed with a lovely
daughter-in-law—one who insisted that when we visited (for a month at a time)
that we stay with them! Three separate times. At the end of this month, son,
DIL, a two-year-old, and two big dogs will live with us as they move from
Arizona to Michigan and find a house. Maybe, I’ll turn into a meddler.
I hope not.
The Case of the Meddling Mama
Book 3 of the Alex O’Hara Mystery
series
