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Showing posts with label Linda Cousine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Linda Cousine. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

GUEST AUTHOR LINDA COUSINE MINES HER OWN FAMILY HISTORY FOR WOMEN'S FICTION

When most girls her age were dreaming of becoming prima ballerinas, Linda had dreams of becoming the next Erma Bombeck, never mind the fact she was a ten-year-old Puerto Rican girl without a long-suffering husband or problems with her plumbing. But fate, (and her mother) had other plans. Instead, Linda became a teenage beauty queen and had minor success as an L.A. model. Forty years later and now more tarnished than her old tiaras, Linda writes from her home in Orange County, California where she lives with her husband and a dog named Dude. Learn more about her and her books at her website. 

In our eyes, our kids are the cutest things ever, right? Perfect in every way; the smartest and the sweetest little dickens on God’s green earth.

But what if you were meeting those same children for the first time and through the eyes of someone else? Would you feel the same way? Would they still be the cutest kids on the planet with intelligence par excellence? Would you be instantly connected? And more importantly, could you put an unfamiliar baby to your breast to nurse, simply because you were told that baby was yours?

Such is the basis of my book, Twenty-One Trees, inspired by the story of my paternal grandmother who lost all memory of her husband and four children after suffering a mental breakdown shortly after the birth of her last child. No longer was she a married woman with four children, one an infant. Instead, her mind retreated to a better time—a simpler time—the years of her adolescence. And there she remained, young and carefree, her mind locked in the happy memories of her youth, a stark contrast to her reality, committed to a state run mental institution where she lived for the majority of her long life.

Write what you know, someone once told me, and so I tried to do so in Twenty-One Trees; writing about a woman who suffers from psychogenic amnesia—much like my grandmother—a result of PTSD and postpartum depression. The characters in my story are not cardboard cut-outs. They are flawed, as am I. They are real—as am I, (if you don’t count the two perkier replacement parts.) The heroine can be self-absorbed (who, me?) and my hero would be well served to grow a pair, as they say. Their children are not your standard Baby Gap ad kids. Instead, they are redheaded and freckled, shy and awkward. The twin girls are missing their front teeth, and their boy has a lazy eye in need of surgery. They are perfectly imperfect; everyday kids like yours and mine.

I believe most authors leave a bit of themselves on the pages of their books. I’m sure readers of my books would not be surprised to find out I’ve suffered from abuse, spent time in therapy and had loved ones struggle with drugs and alcohol (Or oddly enough, I must have a thing for men in black Calvin Klein underwear. Three books—three unrelated references. What gives?).

Writing Twenty-One Trees was cathartic for me. Completed in just a little over three weeks, the story came without a previous outline and from a stream of consciousness that felt as if someone was whispering in my ear. It was written during a troubling time when my adult children were struggling, and more than once I would have liked the option to forget that they are mine, but like my character, I motored through the chaos. I brushed aside the tears; I looked into big brown eyes and I saw adult children just trying to find their way in a confusing world, hurting in ways I can only imagine.

As I begin the second half of my life (assuming I’ll live to be 116), there's a possibility I may one day no longer remember my children. Not because I’ll fall off a ladder and hit my head like Savannah, or develop psychogenic amnesia like my grandmother, but because of the dreaded disease of Alzheimer’s, a tragedy hitting the parents of so many of my friends, some forced to reintroduce themselves to their parents with each heartbreaking visit. And so, in the meantime, I will relish each moment with my girls and try to keep my condemnations and judgments to myself because life is too short to sweat the small stuff, and if we're honest, aren’t we all perfectly imperfect[?

Twenty-One Trees
When trauma gives Savannah May Holladay dissociative amnesia, life as she thought she knew it is gone—and only her childhood friend’s undying love provides any hope for recovery.

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Linda is giving away a FREE two-book starter set of her “Wit Lit” series, Middle-Aged Hottie, a tongue-in-cheek look at one woman’s experience with life after 50. Get yours here.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

FAVORITES, FAILURES & FRUSTRATIONS--GUEST AUTHOR LINDA COUSINE

Linda Cousine gives us a twofer today as she discusses the intertwined failures and frustrations that make up the story of her life with a worthwhile moral.

Linda writes what she likes to call "Wit Lit," where she takes genre fiction to a new (and bawdier) level by spoofing her way through society's obsession with youth, fame, and fortune. Learn more about Linda and her books at her website.  

Failure/Frustration

I grew up in the land of Almost, on the corner of Not Quite and Better Luck Next Time. In high school, I was a member of Student Council, but a “Senator,” or some such title, not quite smart enough for a position that carried much weight. I missed becoming head cheerleader by one vote—my own, it so happens. As an adult, I now see that if you don’t believe in your talents, neither will anyone else, which just may be the moral of this story.

My family and I lived in a big beautiful home, one that gave the illusion we had money, but the electricity got shut off from time to time for nonpayment and much-needed repairs went undone. With money tight, there was little left over for the frivolous, so fancy dresses for winter formal or prom were borrowed from the sisters of friends or purchased second hand. As a teen competing in beauty pageants, I was the Miss who missed, with an impressive string of runner-up titles. Half a dozen, I believe, the tiny trophies were lined up on my dresser like a platoon of plastic soldiers, a testament to my failure.

After high school, I had mediocre success as an L.A. model. Bragging rights seemed to be limited to the “close, but no cigar” moments, landing the cover of a fashion magazine that folded just weeks before my issue came out, or getting a part in a commercial—only to have it air and find my part cut entirely.

Marriage proved much the same, with high hopes dashed when my prince turned into a frog, and I ended an eighteen-year marriage to escape the cloud of abuse and infidelity. Raising three daughters was a breeze, until it wasn’t, and all three began to struggle with drugs and alcohol, leaving me dazed and broken.

My career as an interior designer looked promising. In a stroke of good luck, I was contacted to work on the new home of a current presidential candidate, the gig of all gigs that would finally put me on the proverbial map. I could brag to anyone who would listen (and even those who would not) that I did the home of Mr. Big. Surely, then I would know that in a life of near misses I’d finally hit the bull’s eye. But three months of hard work went unappreciated—and unpaid—when they decided to go in another direction.

The call that never came… The deal that never happened… The fairy tale ending that went up in smoke…

Life, I realize, really is about the journey, as Pinterest post sounding as that may be. It’s about taking each tentative step towards the future, whatever that future may bring, and finding out at the end of the day that “almost” and “not quite” means I gave it a shot. I learned something. Met someone. Hit or miss, I gave it my all, and I had some fun along the way.

Hot to Trot
She thought her life was finally on track …  until she found herself back at the starting line.

Life couldn’t be better for former supermodel, Lexi Taylor, when her brainchild, the Très Bu Shoe, a stiletto with two heels instead of one, becomes an overnight sensation. Her relationship with sexy ex, Richard, rocks along and now they’re closer than ever. But Lexi might just be facing a few false starts when her aging father’s Alzheimer’s grows more serious and he becomes a patient at Forget Me Not, a memory care center, where more often than not, he thinks she’s her mother and insists on turning up the heat between them.

Adding more stress to Lexi’s complicated life, Lexi and Richard become the surrogate parents to Richard’s ex-fiancé’s little girl, Lucky, a chubby four-year-old, when she unexpectedly arrives at their doorstep.

Parenthood is the last thing Lexi has time for, but soon she finds herself bonding with Richard’s pseudo-daughter, even while trying to repair the broken relationships with her own. The stress of their lives threatens to put the brakes on Lexi and Richard’s plans to remarry. Even as Lexi struggles to balance the new challenges in her life, she just might learn that the second time around the track could be better than the first.

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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

HEALTHY LIVING WITH GUEST AUTHOR LINDA COUSINE

Linda Cousine writes romantic comedy and tells people she holds a master’s degree in menopause and a B.S. in BS. When she isn’t standing in front of the freezer or taking ice baths, she can be found at her computer writing something with the word “Hot.” Learn more about Linda and her books at her website. 

September is National Menopause Awareness Month

First, I’d like to thank the lovely editor Anastasia Pollack for having me today. Truthfully, I would rather have been giving this interview to the other Anna—Anna Wintour—the editor of Vogue, but I’m persona non grata ever since I wrote that article titled “Finger-Licking Good” promoting a new line of potted and flavored lip gloss. Apparently, Ms. Wintour found my article too sexually suggestive for her readers. But any excuse to talk about myself is a good one, so let me formally introduce myself …

I’m Lexi Taylor, former international supermodel-turned-shoe-mogul (it was design shoes, or housewares—the washed-up-model hell where all aging models go to die.) I’m a not-so-fabulous fifty whatever, and my friend-slash-frenemy—depending on the day—Linda Cousine, writes satirical books about me struggling to keep my life, my looks, and my libido on track in the face of impending menopause. Linda likes to say the books are loosely based on her life, but come on, Linda; you were on, what, one measly billboard in L.A.? I was on the cover of every major fashion magazine for over thirty years. And you know what they say … Those who can, do … and those who can’t, write about it.

Linda has dubbed her/my books the Middle-Aged Hottie series. In Hotter than Ever, the first book in the series, I wind up in a menopausal nuthouse after a family intervention convinces me I need some professional help. (I swear it was a total accident that I pinned my husband to the door of the garage with my car and broke his leg. My stiletto was stuck under the accelerator. It was sheer coincidence he had just asked for a divorce and was holding his suitcase in his hand.)

In Too Hot to Hold, Richard and I try to patch things up, but it’s rough going when he moves back in and brings his buddies from his newfound career—pro-wrestling—with him. (I know, right? Pro wrestling? Don’t even get me started.) You don’t know what chaos is until your home is invaded by a gentle giant, a cannonballing midget, and a monkey with a police record. If my hormones weren’t finally on track with the help of all those doctors at Sunnyvale Sanitarium: Home for the Mostly Menopausal, I just may have lost it—again.

And so, in recognition of National Menopause Awareness Month, let me share some menopause facts as presented by www.menopauseawarenessmonth.org 
  • By the year 2030, roughly 1.2 billion women will be suffering from menopause.
  • The average woman will hit menopause around the age of 50.
  • Smoking increases your odds of early menopause.
  • 80% of menopausal women suffer from hot flashes.
  • Caffeine and alcohol can increase the severity of hot flashes.
  • 40% of all women suffer from mood swings caused by hormonal dips.
  • Prior to menopause, women are three times less likely to have a heart attack than men. After menopause, the odds are equal.


Now for the good news!

A Gallup survey done in 1998 reported that 51 percent of American women between the ages of 50 and 65 who have reached menopause said they are more fulfilled and happier than ever. Many treatments are now available to women to help with menopausal symptoms. Both Linda and I are proponents of HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and use bioidentical hormones. As all women have different health issues, check with your doctor to see if HRT is right for you.

Menopause is not a disease or a disorder; it’s unavoidable and is perfectly natural. (But so is death, and I’m not ready to give into that yet, either.)

Thank you for letting me share, and remember, ladies … We’re not getting older; we’re getting hotter!

XOXO,

Lexi Taylor

Too Hot to Hold
Lexi Taylor is no stranger to midlife crisis. After all, a menopausal meltdown landed her at the Sunnyvale Sanitarium Home for the Mostly Menopausal for a ninety-day stay. Since finding her sanity there, this former supermodel’s faculties are back on track. She puts family first, and is on the road to patching things up with her ex-husband, Richard, who seems intent on turning up the heat between them.

But when Richard moves back in, he brings his buddies from his pro wrestling career with him—a gentle giant, a cannonballing midget, and a monkey with a police record. Lexi’s Bel Air home has become a regular three-ring-circus. Add a new ex-husband with erratic mood swings, and a questionable vitamin therapy, and Lexi wonders if she’s making the right choice. After a spa weekend with her daughter that turns out to be a visit to a nudist commune, a modeling gig that’s actually an ad for adult diapers, and extortion for a sex video she didn’t know existed, Lexi feels close to losing it—again. But this time, hormones are the least of her worries as Lexi must find a way to keep her family together and save her ex-husband from jeopardizing his health. She faces one of the biggest challenges of her menopausal life: does her past have a place in her future? Or is it time to move on?

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