MERRY WEIRD CHRISTMAS?

It’s the time of the year when stores bring out all the stops to outdo each other coming up with eye-popping window displays. No place does this better than the department stores and shops that dot Fifth Avenue and Madison Avenue in Manhattan. But many of those same stores also have branches at the Mall at Short Hills, the same mall where I reluctantly took part in a sting to catch a killer in AssaultWith a Deadly Glue Gun.

On a recent trip to the mall I came across some window displays that left me rolling my eyes and scratching my head at these decidedly un-Christmasy decorations.

For example, the windows at Dior featured life-size jungle animals covered in red Toile fabric.

Both Prada and Hugo Boss had colorful modern sculptures in their windows. The Prada ones reminded me of the Minions from Despicable Me. The one in the Hugo Boss window looked like a bunny head perched on a bucket perched on a pig head perched on a square face with feet.

Cacti used as shirt racks filled the window at Pink, the men's shirt store. Cacti in New Jersey. In December. Maybe in New Mexico but New Jersey?

The Christian Louboutin window did have Christmas trees, but Christmas trees with human-looking arms and legs!

Maybe the theme for this year was Merry Weird Christmas?

MYSTERY AUTHOR HEATHER HAVEN DECORATES A CHRISTMAS MEMORY TREE

Heather Haven is a multi-award winning mystery author. Her work includes the Silicon Valley based Alvarez Family Murder Mysteries, NYC trail-blazing WWII lady shamus of The Persephone Cole Vintage Mysteries, Death of a Clown, a Ringling Brothers’ Circus stand-alone mystery noir, and anthology, Corliss and Other Award-Winning Stories. Today she stops by to share a Christmas memory with us. Learn more about her and her books at her website. 

A Christmas Memory Tree

Twenty years ago during the Christmas season, I was visiting a dear friend and noticed a small, jewel-like tree glittering on her hallway table. When I asked her where she got it, she told me she had made it for her mother using ornaments, broken jewelry, and so forth from her family’s life. Now that her mother passed, she had the tree and would someday leave it to her own daughter.

All you need is a small fake tree, a charming container to hold it, plaster of Paris, lights, ornaments, costume jewelry, and a glue gun. I ran, not walked, to my local craft store and bought a small one-and-a-half foot tall tree, a bag of plaster of Paris, and an attractive round plant holder.

Day One: fill that charming little container about 3/4 of the way up with plaster of Paris (follow the directions on the box). Pull the little tree out of the base it came on, stick the tree into the wet plaster of Paris, hold the tree straight for a minute or two until the plaster begins to set, then go about your business for the rest of the day so it can dry thoroughly.

Day Two: Starting at the top, take the center of each wire branch and bend the branch back into itself. This keep it from looking scraggly. Next, wrap the string of lights around the tree, pushing the lights into the tree. Be sure the cord plug is at the bottom of the tree with enough length for plugging into an extension cord or the wall. Even on a small tree, you can use a 500-light or a 1000-light string. The more lights, the more glitter.

 Any balls and decoration that are slightly broken but too important or sentimental to have thrown away go on the tree first and in a place of prominence. With the hot glue gun, dab some glue on one side of the ornament near the metal loop that hooks it on to the tree. You don’t want all of that metal distracting from your jewels. Keep gluing, then sticking ornaments and jewelry wherever you want them to go, hold in place for a few seconds and voila! It’s like magic. Leonardo da Vinci couldn’t do better.

After I added a beautiful angel Mom had kept through the years to the treetop, I lovingly packed the gift in bubble wrap and shipped it off to my mother who lived three-thousand miles away. Until the end of her life, every year my mother took the tree out from the back of the closet and put it on a table, reveling in all the holidays and memories the tree represented. I was happy knowing that even though we were separated by miles, that little tree brought us closer with our shared memories.

Happy Holidays!

Iced Diamonds

In late December 1942, Persephone (Percy) Cole, one of Manhattan's first female PIs, has been hired to find out who killed a Santa Land elf and left the body in the storefront window of a swank 5th Avenue jewelry store. Was it the spoiled heiress whose big buck handbag was found on the scene? Or was it the rat who broke out of the big house to settle a score? Shortly after, the corpse of the Christmas Angel is discovered stuffed in Mrs. Santa's workshop. Will Santa Claus be next? With a penchant for Marlene Dietrich suits, pistachio nuts and fedora hats, this working mother finds diamonds to the left of her, diamonds to the right, and skullduggery aplenty. Armed with her noodle and a WWI German Mauser, Percy is determined to solve these crimes or it just might be the 'kiss off' for Christmas.

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#DECORATING WITH PINECONES

Thanksgiving is over, and you’re probably starting to decorate for Christmas. If you live in an area with pine trees, you’ll find pinecones covering the ground this time of year. Not only do pinecones make great holiday and winter decorations, you can also use them to make fire starters for yourself or as a holiday gift for anyone who has a fireplace.

To make the fire starters, first send the kids outside to fill up a grocery bag full of pinecones in various sizes and shapes. Male pinecones work best. Those are the ones where the scales are spread open rather than closed tightly. The pinecones need to be dry, so if the weather has been damp, let them sit for a few days to dry out.

Besides the pinecones, you’ll need white, red or green beeswax or paraffin,  a double boiler, thin floral wire or bamboo skewers, wax paper, salt (optional), essential oil (optional), and a decorative basket large enough to hold the finished fire starters.

You can use plain table salt, Kosher salt, Epsom salts, salt substitute, or a combination. The salts will turn the flames different colors when they burn. If using essential oil, add 1/4 tsp. per 1 pt. melted wax. Peppermint or cinnamon will fill your home with holiday scents. 

Melt the wax in a double boiler to 150-175 degrees F. Stir in optional essential oil.

Hook a piece of wire around each pinecone, leaving a piece long enough for you to hold, or twist the pointy end of the bamboo skewer into the bottom of the pinecone.

Carefully dip a pinecone into the wax, then place on the wax paper. Allow the wax to dry for a few minutes. Dip a second time and immediately shake salt over the wax. Place on wax paper to dry.

Fill the basket with the finished fire starters and set beside your fireplace or use as hostess gifts when you attend holiday parties.

In addition to fire starters, you can decorate with painted pinecones. Using 3 parts acrylic paint to 2 parts water, dip the pinecones in the paint. You can go with traditional Christmas colors of red, green, and white, or go wild with jewel tones. Gently shake off the excess paint. Sprinkle with glitter, then place on wax paper to dry.

If the pinecones close up as they’re drying, don’t worry. It’s easy to open them. Let them dry overnight. Then place them on a parchment covered cookie sheet in an oven set to the lowest temperature. Check the pinecones every 30 minutes. Once they’ve opened, remove the cookie sheet from the oven.

Don’t want to bother with the possibility of pinecones closing after they’re painted? Simply add a dollop of gesso or thick acrylic paint to the tips of each scale and sprinkle with glitter.

Intersperse the painted pinecones around candles for a centerpiece, line them up in a row across a mantle or a wide windowsill, or fill a clear bowl with them. You can also use them as tree ornaments, wire them into wreaths, or string them into garlands. Let your imagination run wild.