Five Series, Five Women
By Camille Minichino
The scene: a diner in Alaska, fairly crowded. Five women in a red vinyl booth are chatting over a lunch of fried clams and a special coleslaw made by one of them, Charlotte “Charlie” Cooke, the diner’s owner.
Three of the women have flown all the way from Massachusetts: Gloria Lamerino, retired physicist; Sophie Knowles, college math teacher; and Cassie Miller, postmistress in a small town in the Berkshires. The fifth, Gerry Porter, retired English teacher and miniaturist, had a shorter trip, from the San Francisco Bay Area.
"We'd probably never be friends if it weren't for Camille," Gerry says. "Although I know her as Margaret Grace."
"Remember when she was Ada Madison?" Sophie asks. “I was so happy when she let me tell the world about Ada Lovelace, the world’s first programmer, and all the great female mathematicians throughout history.”
“By the way, her name is Jean Flowers,” Cassie says, in her blue USPS uniform since she’s just come from work. “I told her I didn’t want to leave Boston for a small town, but she put me in one anyway, and now I’m pretty happy in North Ashcot.”
“I know her as Elizabeth Logan,” Charlie says. “And she put me in the smallest, coldest, least populated, and most isolated part of the country. I’d trade places with any one of you, though I have to pretend to love Alaska.” Charlie shuddered to make her point, though her Bear Claw Diner was very comfortable this August day. As if to support her argument, just then a moose wandered right up to the diner window.
“Obviously, she loves me best,” says Gloria. “That’s why she named me after her real dear cousin and set the stories in her real hometown, Revere, Massachusetts, and wrote under her real name, Camille Minichino.”
“But remember, her most embarrassing moments occurred in those books,” Sophie says. “She had you go to a Starbuck’s and there was no Starbuck’s in Revere.”
“That’s when she decided to make up a town,” Gerry says. “And, lucky me, she made me a crafter. I’m just glad she gave me a granddaughter to help.”
“I loved when she did research,” Cassie says. “So many fun facts about the post office came up, like when children would be sent by mail in the early 20th century.”
“You mean they’d put a stamp on a kid and send her through the mail?” Charlie asks, signaling her kitchen staff to bring another batch of cookies.
Everyone laughs, but Cassie is serious. “Yes! There are documents to prove it, like a 2-year-old boy who was sent from Oklahoma to Kansas for 18 cents.”
“Only one thing bugs me,” Gloria says. “And that’s when Camille insisted on bringing back Peter, a boyfriend of mine from thirty years ago. No one could annoy me like Peter Mastrone, and he still does, living a fantasy world that I moved back to Revere to be with him!”
“You know, there are many murder investigations in our lives,” Sophie says, “but I never get depressed over it. Do any of you?”
They all shake their heads.
“I think it’s because Camille/Jean/Elizabeth always manages to put a little humor in the books.”
The women begin to share jokes.
"What does the little mermaid wear? An algae bra," comes from Sophie.
"Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?" from Gloria.
"Miniaturists work as little as possible," Gerry says.
“The problem with telling jokes about the post office,” Cassie says, “is that it will be days before people get it.”
“A detective asks a suspect in Alaska: where were you during the night of November 14th to February 12th?”
The friends can barely contain their laughter.
At the next table two older women scan their menus, eavesdropping on Gloria, Gerry, Sophie, Cassie, and Charlie, who continue to joke and laugh like schoolgirls.
One of the women addresses the waiter. She points to the fivesome. "I'll have what they're having."
Low Down Dirty Vote
A Crime Fiction Anthology, Volume 2
This charity anthology includes 22 stories of crime and suspense by 22 authors, many award-winning. 100% of the the proceeds will be donated to Democracy Docket, an organization that is successfully fighting against voter suppression in the United States.
In “Vote Early,” author Camille Minichino spins the yarn of a two-month-old baby who takes action to get out the vote. Yes, elements of sci-fi as well as crime fiction!
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