AUTHOR DIANE A.S. STUCKART ON HER BIGGEST WRITERLY PET PEEVE

Today we welcome back New York Times bestselling author Diane A.S. Stuckart (AKA Ali Brandon for the Black Cat Bookshop Mysteries and AKA Anna Gerard for the Georgia B&B Mysteries.) Learn more about Diane/Ali/Anna at her website.

To Pee or Not to Pee

Every reader has their own pet peeves when it comes to books. You know what I mean -- those literary and stylistic conventions that make you grit your teeth when you read them. I’ve got a list that probably looks a lot like yours. In the top ten would be the obligatory “characters that are too stupid to live.” I also abhor the drop-dead gorgeous heroes and heroines who pretend not to know just how good-looking they are. Of course, I majorly roll my eyes at spunky female private-eye types who, ten or twelve books into a series, still haven’t figured out how to use a firearm.

 

However, most of these pet peeves pale before my very pettest of pet peeves…one that crosses all genres. Be it mystery or romance, thriller or horror, it seems you’ve always got folks wandering off to the bathroom to take steamy showers or perfumed bubble baths, with or without company. That, or they’re standing before the powder room mirror applying makeup to their cameo features or studying the manly bruises marring their rugged chin following a brawl. 

 

But why do we never seem to see a character slip off to the potty to, well, use the potty?

 

Okay, I’m sure I’m exaggerating…somewhat. Admittedly, my data is subjective, and based on my formative years as a fledgling historical romance writer. As I devoured historical romance after historical romance as fodder for my own first novel, I couldn’t help but notice this particular lack. Maybe it was an unspoken rule from the publishers that characters didn’t tinkle? 

 

And then I read a scene from one of Roberta Gellis’s novels which has stuck with me almost thirty years later. Not because it was exquisite prose (though I’m sure it was), but because her heroine casually used a chamber pot in front of her new lover! Ms. Gellis immediately became my writing idol, and I vowed right then that I’d put a potty scene in every one of my books. And so I have.

 

Peachy Scream, the second book in my Georgia B&B Mystery series (written as Anna Gerard), will be out in mass market paperback at the end of September. My innkeeper-turned-sleuth, Nina Fleet, plays host to a troupe of amateur actors in town for the annual Shakespeare festival. And, yep, I added my obligatory potty scene right there in the first chapter, with the troupe arriving from a road trip that did not include a bathroom break. Not only did this scene with everyone queuing up outside Nina’s downstairs washroom provide a bit of mild humor, it also gave me a chance to introduce new characters in an offbeat way. 

 

I hope Roberta would have been proud.

 

Peachy Scream

A Georgia B&B Mystery, Book 2

 

In Peachy Scream, innkeeper-turned-sleuth Nina Fleet plays host to a troupe of amateur actors in town for the annual Shakespeare festival. Unfortunately for Nina, their director is her occasional nemesis, the dashing if unemployed actor Harry Westcott. Grandnephew of the B&B’s former owner, Harry still accuses Nina of stealing the place out from under him. But the pair are forced to set aside their differences when murder ensues during rehearsals for one of the Bard’s best-known works of betrayal, Hamlet.

 

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#COOKING WITH CLORIS--CLOBBERED PEACH COBBLER FROM MYSTERY AUTHOR DIANE A.S. STUCKART

Diane A. S. Stuckart is the NYT bestselling author of the Black Cat Bookshop Mysteries (writing as Ali Brandon). Her upcoming Georgia B&B Mystery series, written as Anna Gerard, will debut this July with Peach Clobbered. Learn more about Diane and her books at her website. 

Peaches and Penguins and Cobbler, Oh My!

My name is Anna Gerard, and I am a cozy mystery writer who doesn’t cook. Don’t get me wrong. I can rustle up a tasty enough meal to feed my husband and me on a regular basis. And the rare times that I entertain, I do pride myself on fancy place settings and neatly plated food. But I don’t cook or bake for the fun of it. With everything else I’ve got on my figurative plate, spending time in the kitchen is a necessary evil, nothing more.

But the whole not-cooking thing has proved a bit problematic in the cozy mystery world, where recipes are king…er, queen. Particularly with my new Georgia B&B Mystery series. Not that I had originally anticipated a problem, since the working title for Book 1 was Death in a Penguin Suit (yes, the story has penguins, of a sort). But then my publisher—who apparently decided to emphasize the breakfast portion of B&B—decreed that we needed a title more evocative of Georgia and bed and breakfast inns. And since the series logo features a peach, the marketing department decided to call my debut book Peach Clobbered.

Problem was, for the first few months of rewrites, I was reading the title as Peach Cobblered, as in the dessert. Even after my editor corrected me, I warned her that the word was close enough that people were sure to expect recipes as part of the story. She assured me they wouldn’t…but, just in case, I decided to go with the peach theme throughout the book so that the title made sense.

And so my amateur sleuth and innkeeper, Nina Fleet, has her B&B breakfasts catered by Peaches and Java, the local coffee shop/bakery. And, of course, P&J’s specialty (care of bakery co-owner, Daniel Tanaka) happens to be a fancy peach cobbler with a yummy amaretto whipped cream topping, which is served and enjoyed throughout the book.

As for the great expectation of recipes, turns out I was right. More than one reviewer wanted to know if recipes were included. In fact, that’s kind of how I ended up writing this blog post. But that also meant I had to come up with a recipe. Fortunately, peach cobbler is a pretty basic dish, so I did manage to “cobble” together an easy-peasy version. Prep time is minimal, and in my humble opinion the finished product is as good as anything from Daniel’s bakery. Enjoy!

Peach Clobbered Peach Cobbler

Ingredients:

6 to 8 large ripe peaches, pitted and peeled and sliced (or substitute a 29-ounce can of sliced peaches in heavy syrup, drained)

2-1/2 tablespoons cornstarch

3/4 cup sugar

3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Uncooked piecrust (top only…homemade with your recipe, or store-bought)

Optional Topping: Amaretto Whipped Cream (see recipe below)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Combine all ingredients except the piecrust in a bowl and mix well, then transfer to a greased pie pan or comparable baking dish. Top with the uncooked piecrust (Crust options: you can completely cover the filling with the crust, adding 2-3 slits to vent the steam. Or slice the crust into strips and weave into a lattice pattern. Or like, Daniel you can get creative and slice designs into the uncooked crust before laying it over the filling.)

Bake approximately 45 minutes (30 minutes for a convection oven), or until the fruit is bubbling around edges and crust is golden brown. Let cool a few minutes and then scoop into individual serving bowls. If desired, top with Amaretto Whipped Cream.

Amaretto Whipped Cream

Ingredients:

1 cup heavy whipping cream (keep chilled until ready to use)

1/4 cup powdered (Confectioner’s) sugar

2-3 tablespoons Amaretto liquor (or substitute non-alcoholic almond flavoring)

Combine whipping cream and powdered sugar in mixing bowl. With hand or stand mixer, beat on low until sugar is thoroughly dissolved into the cream (approx. 1 minute). Add amaretto and beat on high for another 2-3 minutes or until the cream forms stiff peaks. Make in advance and keep refrigerated until ready to serve atop the cobbler.

Peach Clobbered

A Georgia B&B Mystery, Book 1

What’s black and white and dead all over? Georgia bed and breakfast proprietor Nina Fleet finds out when she comes across a corpse in a penguin costume.

Nina Fleet’s life ought to be as sweet as a Georgia peach. Awarded a tidy sum in her divorce, Nina retired at 41 to a historic Queen Anne house in quaint Cymbeline, GA. But Nina’s barely settled into her new B&B-to-be when a penguin shows up on her porch. Or, at least, a man wearing a penguin suit.

Harry Westcott is making ends meet as an ice cream shop’s mascot and has a letter from his great-aunt, pledging to leave him the house. Too bad that’s not what her will says. Meanwhile, the Sisters of Perpetual Poverty have lost their lease. Real estate developer Gregory Bainbridge intends to turn the convent into a golfing community, so Cymbeline’s mayor persuades Nina to take in the elderly nuns. And then Nina finds the “penguin” again, this time lying in an alley with a kitchen knife in his chest.

A peek under the beak tells Nina it’s not Harry inside the costume, but Bainbridge. What was he doing in Harry’s penguin suit? Was the developer really the intended victim, or did the culprit mean to kill Harry? Whoever is out to stop Harry from contesting the sale of his great-aunt’s house may also be after Nina, so she teams up with him to cage the killer before someone clips her wings.

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HEALTHY LIVING WITH JANICE--TAEKWONDO WITH AUTHOR ALI BRANDON

photo by Scott Feldstein

Ali Brandon, aka Diane A.S. Stuckart, is the national bestselling author of the Black Cat Bookshop Mystery series and the critically acclaimed Leonardo da Vinci historical mystery series. Additionally, she is the author of five critically-reviewed historical romances soon be re-released as ebooks. Learn more about Ali/Diane at her Ali Brandon website and her Diane Stuckart website.   

Paws of Death

Dante left out one circle of hell while documenting the official nine in his classic Inferno. Forget Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, and so on. The most terrifying one of all is actually Circle Number Ten:  Junior High P.E. class.

 I spent a couple of years in Ten. It’s a harrowing place to be, loud and hot and smelly, filled with mean girls and rotten boys. I was one of the doomed souls always hiding in the corner of the gym during dodge ball. I also was last to be chosen for the kickball team, was stuck off to the side anytime we played volleyball, and never did manage to do a single pull up. Obviously, I had no aptitude for athletics, and past performance predicted I’d never be one to enjoy physical sports.

How, then, did I manage to reach red belt rank in Taekwondo after waiting until my early forties to take up the sport?

And, given my “advanced” age, why in the heck did I even try in the first place?

The short answer to that last question is that a friend and her daughter signed up for a family martial arts class. They invited me along for moral support. I was looking for a new exercise regimen (I’d recently given up on the local gym…too many mean girls, again!) and so I figured that would be a fun way to get in shape. After all, I’d always secretly been a major Bruce Lee fan.

The longer answer is that, despite my early failure as an athlete, I had decided around the time I reached thirty that I really needed to revisit the world of physical fitness. And while no particular sport had quite “taken” to that point, I realized I liked the idea of being able to defend myself in a not-always-friendly world. Several years earlier when I’d temporarily decided to be a jogger, I also happened to own both a Doberman pinscher and a German shepherd. With those two dogs by my side as I ran, I’d felt invincible no matter how dark or lonely my jogging path was. Nobody was going to mess with me and my hell hounds!

But time had passed and my only remaining dog now was the shepherd, who was getting on in years. I figured my best bet was to recreate that feeling of power and competence on a more personal basis. And so I joined my friend for that first lesson, and stuck with it long after she and her child had lost interest.

I was involved in martial arts for a good three years, starting out in American karate and moving on to Taekwondo, with a brief foray into Aikido. While not a brilliant student (see above for Circle Number Ten reference), I was determined. I moved up the ranks at a respectable pace, though each belt test was an exercise in major stage fright that required a Zen-like attitude to get through.

The best classes were sparring nights, when we put on our protective gear and paired up to fight with our fellow students. Unfortunately, there were rarely more than one or two other women in the class with me, meaning my opponents usually were men. Big, young men with lots of muscles! And while punches and kicks above the shoulders were technically forbidden for anyone under the rank of black belt, I still got hit in the head enough times to know that my next physical challenge was not going to be boxing!

But despite the bruises and sprained necks and broken toes I collected, I was in the best shape of my life. My confidence in my physical abilities was higher than it ever had been, and I was having a great time. And when my sensei shut down his studio while I was still training for my brown belt, I was bereft.

But what does any of this have to do with my new Black Cat Bookshop mystery, Words with Fiends?

In the previous installment, A Novel Way to Die, my bookstore owner protagonist, Darla Pettistone, comes close to falling victim to a killer. The fear and helplessness she felt in that situation—particularly when she saw her beloved cat, Hamlet, put himself in jeopardy on her behalf—spurs her to take action. And so, in Words with Fiends, she heads off to martial arts class to learn a bit of self-defense. I won’t tell you what happens then, but you can guess that Darla and Hamlet once again stumble across another unseemly murder.

So what about me? After my sensei called it quits, I did, too. I moved on to yoga and even earned my 200-hour teaching certification. More recently, I took up belly dancing, but a torn Achilles tendon and heel spur recently made it impossible to dance. So I am back to the gym again. This time around, the girls aren’t quite as mean…or maybe I’m just a bit tougher now.

And what’s up next for me and Darla? Don’t tell anyone, but in the fourth Black Cat Bookshop mystery due out in fall of 2014, Darla and Hamlet head down to Fort Lauderdale for vacation. She pretty well sticks to the beach…but, just for fun, I may have to give surfing a try.

Words with Fiends

Lately, Hamlet hasn’t been chasing customers or being his obnoxious self—something Darla surprisingly misses. Concerned, she hires a cat whisperer to probe Hamlet’s feline psyche and then decides to get out of her own funk by taking up karate to learn how to defend herself in case the need arises again.

But when Darla finds her sensei dead at the dojo, it seems that even a master can be felled by foul play. Darla decides to investigate the matter herself, and the promise of a mystery snaps Hamlet out of his bad mood. After all, Darla may be the sleuth, but Hamlet’s got a black belt in detection…

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