BOOK CLUB FRIDAY -- GUEST AUTHOR LOIS WINSTON, PART 2

Today we’re back with author Lois Winston in our continuing celebration of the January 1^st release of ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY GLUE GUN, the book about me.  -- AP

Thanks, Anastasia. Being New Year’s Eve, I doubt we have many people dropping by Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers today.

You’d be surprised how many people would rather spend a few minutes with me rather than get all dressed up and party the night away. Besides, be honest. When was the last time you really enjoyed yourself going out on New Year’s Eve? All that noise. The crowds. And the food is usually sub-standard, even at the best restaurants. 

You have a point.

Of course, I do. It’s much more relaxing to curl up with a  good book -- or in this case, a good blog. Light a fire in the fireplace; make some hot chocolate. What could be better? It’s not like either of us would traipse into the city to freeze our buns off for hours with a million tourists as they wait for that crystal ball to drop. You get a better view on TV. Plus, we’ve got bathroom facilities. They don’t.

True. I always wondered how they all held it in so long. Especially in the cold.

Depends.

On what?

Proper noun: Depends.

Ahh…

So how about we give our readers another look into my crazy family? I think it’s time to introduce my multi-married Mama.

Great idea! From last week’s excerpt, I’m sure it became apparent that Mama and Lucille, my mother-in-law, don’t exactly see eye-to-eye. Lucille is the president of the Greater New York area chapter of The Daughters of the October Revolution. Mama, a life-long member and past social secretary of the Daughters of the American Revolution, is convinced my mother-in-law is plotting to overthrow the government. Considering the total membership of The Daughters of the October Revolution consisted of thirteen semi-crippled female octogenarians, I find the threat negligible.  Mama believes otherwise.

The other thing about Mama is that she hasn’t had the best of luck when it comes to husbands…

Excerpt from ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY GLUE GUN:

Flora Sudberry Periwinkle Ramirez Scoffield Goldberg O’Keefe had a knack for losing husbands.  With Seamus gone, she was fast approaching Liz Taylor territory.  In truth, Mama didn’t lose them so much as they wound up dying on her in a succession of odd circumstances.  My own father had drowned while scuba diving in the Yucatan on their twenty-fifth anniversary.  

A year and a half later, Mama remarried.  Husband Number Two, an adventure-seeking daredevil, lasted four months before the bulls gored him to death as he raced through the streets of Pamplona.  

Number Three made it to their first anniversary.  Barely.  Highly allergic to shellfish and having forgotten to bring along his epinephrine, he asphyxiated after inhaling the aroma from a sizzling platter of shrimp that a waiter carried past their table. 

           
Number Four lost his footing at the Grand Canyon and plunged to his death during their honeymoon.  

So now Mama was once again widowed.  A temporary situation. Mama was the kind of woman who needed a man.  And whenever Mama was between husbands, she came to stay with us. 

(end of excerpt)

If you want to read more about Mama, Lucille, and the rest of the motley crew that live within the pages of ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY GLUE GUN, the wait is over. Booksellers across the country should be placing them on store shelves as you read this, if they haven’t already. Amazon and other cyber-bookstores have had the book available for several weeks.

And if you’re feeling lucky, in celebration of the release of ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY GLUE GUN, I’m doing a blog tour throughout January and will be giving away 5 copies. All you have to do to enter is post a comment on any of the guest blog posts. You can find the schedule on my website, http://www.loiswinston.com, and here on the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers sidebar. (If your email isn’t included in your comment, email me privately at lois@loiswinston.com to let me know you’ve entered.)

In addition, I’m also giving away a collection of crafts books at several of the blogs, including this one. Post a comment here today to be entered in the drawing. The winner will be posted Sunday, so be sure to check back to see if you’ve won.

Thanks for having me here today, Anastasia. And Happy New Year, everyone!