We often interview authors and their characters at Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers. My author, Lois Winston, has done many author interviews over the course of her writing career. Most of the time she’s asked run-of-the-mill questions about her life as a writer, her writing process, where she get her plot ideas, the best writing advice she's ever received, etc. But every so often she gets some rather odd questions. Today we thought we’d share some of them, along with her answers.
Is Elvis really dead?
LW: Of course not! Who do you think trains and manages all those Elvis impersonators in Vegas -- for a hefty fee? He figured out how to have the best of both worlds. He’s richer now than he ever was, and he gets to sit back and munch on fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches while others do all the work.
What is your favorite cheese?
LW: Tough question. I’m a big cheese freak. Extra-sharp cheddar or buffalo mozzarella, depending on the circumstances. Then there’s cream cheese. Gotta have cream cheese to go with my bagels!
What color would you make the sky if it weren't going to be blue anymore?
LW: I wouldn’t choose one color. I’d make it rainbow-hued.
Do you sleep with a glue gun under the pillow for protection – is it licensed?
LW: Doesn’t everyone? No license required for glue guns, at least not yet.
Please state your name, aliases, and regional dialect.
LW: Name: Lois Winston; Alias: Telemarketers think I’m a guy named Louis;
Regional dialect: Bridge and Tunnel (It’s a Jersey thing!)
Are you more likely to be spotlighted on the TV show Hoarders or Fashion Police?
LW: Good grief! I’ve never watched either. I’m certainly not a hoarder; I can’t stand clutter. Since I work out of my home, you’re not likely to see me wearing anything that would be considered the height of fashion. I suppose the Fashion Police might have a thing or two to say about my everyday wardrobe.
If you had a swear jar, would it be full?
LW: I’m a Jersey girl. What do you think?
How would the love of your life describe you?
LW: As usually right, but he’d admit it reluctantly.
How old do you think is the right age for a first romantic kiss? How old were you when you had your first romantic kiss?
LW: I had my first romantic kiss when I was not quite sixteen. I wasn't impressed. I don't think I was ready for it. I don't think my hormones had kicked in enough at that point. Or maybe the guy was just a lousy kisser. We didn’t go out again after that. As for the right age? I'm glad I gave birth to sons, because if I'd had daughters, my answer would probably be not until they turned thirty.
One of your characters has just found out you’re about to kill him off. He/she decides to beat you to the punch. How would he kill you?
LW: I’m allergic to lilacs and eucalyptus. All he or she would have to do is lock me in a room filled with both.
If there’s a spider in the corner of the room, do you a) panic, b) have to drop everything until it is removed, or c) hope it’s planning on eating the more annoying bugs that get in?
LW: Creepy crawly things creep me out. I’d definitely drop everything to trap and dispose of that little bugger. (And I definitely hope he fell into the Little Bugger category and not the Big Hairy Bugger category!)
Fire rages in your house. Everyone is safe, but you. You decide to smash through the window, shielding your face with a book. What is the book?
LW: Fahrenheit 451 (sorry, couldn’t resist!)
Who’d win in a fight between Count Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster? If, you know, you were writing that scene.
LW: Personally, I don’t care who would win. I have no “stake” in this fight.
You must introduce a plot-twist. Evil twin or luggage mix-up?
LW: Evil twin who mixes up the luggage.
You are at sea in a lifeboat, with the barest chance of surviving the raging storm. There’s one opportunity to save a character, drifting by this scene. Do you save the idealistic hero or the tragic villain?
LW: Neither. I’d save the plucky heroine.
If you're a reader, what's the one question you'd love your favorite author to answer? If you're an author reading this, what's one of the oddest questions you've ever been asked?